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Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Monday, 6 November 2017

My Writing

Yesterday we had the task of writing a narrative story. We wrote about a short film called the ocean maker. We had to copy the start of the film but have an alternate ending. The process I went through was Planning my story for 10 minutes then I just put all my best ideas and time and connective words and wrote this story. I think it is alright but I really need feedback. Please leave a comment on how I should change my writing for the better. Here is the video-

Dry Ocean
Shukoor was breathing heavily through the thick air of the Dasht-e margo desert deep into Afghanistan territory. The air there is thick and sun is blistering hot near melting anything it Gleams on. Shukoor was burning hot trying to look for a water supply for his crops and thirst.

He was flying around in his old plane he built from old rusty bits of metal, bolts from submarines and a engine from a jet fighter that crash landed in the old ocean that dried up named the “Arabian Sea”. His crops, houses and land are all on the bottom of the sea bed of the dried up Arabian Sea. He peered down at the old lightower Isaac runs and saw the lights flashing therefore there was an emergency somewhere. He headed down to the lighthouse where he found Isaac happy as can be and asked “Whats happened”. He was met with a smirk and a cheerful “THERE IS CLOUDS” From Isaac. The rain was going to come over and they would practically be saved.

Shukoor had the brilliant Idea of making a big tanker that would catch the rainwater so we would have enough rain to survive until the next showering of rain water. They headed out into the hot desert and starting gathering supplies. Isaac spotted the “bad adame” Which means bad guys in farsi. They tried to steal our plane and supplies. They immediately came sprinting up to us in groups of 4 or five and there had be about 10 groups.

We ran and ran until only 2 of them managed to catch us we fought them hard in the hot sun we were able to beat them but not without a few injuries. We leaned our hot aching bodies against and old submarine in the shade and looked down to where the bad guys had come from and they were nowhere to be seen and neither were our supplies. We popped up about 20 minutes later and headed back to our little village hoping the rain wouldn't come till the morning.

After a hot night of no sleep Isaac and Shukoor went outside to find a big huge dark raincloud that looked like it was ready to release rain all down the village. We grabbed supplies like old metal, Hammers we made, bolts from old jet fighter and made massive 15 foot wide by 15 foot tall and a 9 metre volume that held about 15 gallons of liquid.
As we suspected the rain fell and we caught a full tank of water. We used the water to water our crops and drink. Happy as ever we went for a walk and found a huge hole that filled up and we now had a swimming pool for when it's really hot. Scared it might dry up we took an old tarp covered it when we are not swimming. We both lived happy in the old village and lived until we were old.

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Life 100 Years Ago

This is my free writing that was sent the Year 7 and 8's of Rimu Class. Mine is about how life would have been 100 years ago and what I would have done.


100 Years Ago
_______

BRBRBRBRB!! Would have been the sound I would have made a lot 100 years ago. Think about it. What if you had no technology at all. What would you do with no internet, no computer games and not very much music. I had a think about this and I would try to become rich by producing toys. Because kids would be bored I’d think they want something to do right.

So I would make a toy called the “Drift Trike”. It has 3 wheels, two at the back and a big one in the front. It would work like a bike and have pedals but no chain. The way it works it you pedal very fast and then you turn the bars to either side and lean to whatever side the bars are. And it will spin out and do a drift. That sounds fun. It would cost around $14 to make and I would be making a six dollar profit.

I would be very rich I would charge $20.00 for one. I think I’d be $RICH$.

Monday, 31 October 2016

My 100WC

This is my week 4 100WC I think I have done very good with this writing. If you want to enter the form closes on the 5th of November.


...As the smoke cleared I could see everything I own and love burn to the ground. I was sitting in my house playing my playstation 5 about to get a high score and all I heard was the alarm and I raced as fast as a formula 1 car down the stairs and outside everyone in my family was already out so we were all safe. Nek week when we were able to rent a new home it was better than the cramped stinky old shelter where we were staying; although I thought the old people were nice there.

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

True of False Writing

Our task on Monday and Tuesday was to write a school holiday story that might be true or it might be false. This is what I did in the holidays. True or False?


In the holidays my friend Jett came to my house, we played soccer and rugby. We fought my brothers on the tramp and then we ran to a BBQ at a rugby mate’s house. The run was fast and refreshing. We played rugby there and then we played XBOX It was fun. We played COD BO3.  ( Call Of Duty Black Ops 3 )

After about 2 hours Jett and I were bored so we ran home fast because it was cold and dark. When we got home the time was about 9:00. Jett and I played on the computer and the Ipad. We played a game called Slither.io and agar.io. It was very fun.

In the game Slither.io you are a snake and you have to eat little coloured orbs to consume mass to get longer. The aim of the game is to get the longest snake. In Agar.io you are a little circle and you have to grow bigger by eating people and coloured pellets. The aim of the game is also the get the biggest circle.

It was about 11:30 P.M. We were both so tired we walked to bed so slowing and tiredly. We played on the Ipad ‘til 12:30 P.M. We watched Youtube videos, it was fun. In the morning when we woke up. It was already 10:00 and we quickly got out of bed and had toast for breakfast. We had brown bread with margarine and marmite. It was about 10:30 we got our shoes on and my mum took us to Timezone.

At Timezone it was double dollars day. Which means if I put $20 on one card I would end up with $40. We earned a total of 740 tickets all together. We got lollies and 2 rugby balls. My favourite game was the pirate ticket spin wheel. You spin a huge wheel that has numbers on it and whatever number you land on is how many tickets you get. It looked like this.Over all I really enjoyed my holidays and My favourite Part was going to Auckland to see my Nana.

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Book Trailer

This week Teina and I Made a book trailer for Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Dog Days.

I learnt to use Powtoon. I also learnt to take more of other people's ideas instead of using my own.
And I think that make it a lot better. I enjoyed Learning about Powtoon so later on I might be able to do it my self. I Have scored myself this because I think I did those things very well especially the one where I scored myself a three.